What is a bull? A fine physical specimen, part of the trifecta in a cuckolding relationship, but what about lovers and boyfriends? Do you have to call the third wheel a bull...and does it really matter?
The power of a label
Bull - That's okay, it's acceptable, titillating. It's also dehumanising.
Lover - Tolerable. Makes him laugh nervously.
Boyfriend - ANGST! Suddenly it all becomes very scary. Hmm, interesting.
Whatever I call them, in any sexual partner I want humour, good looks, and a tasty physique. No scratch that, I really don't think I am comfortable with calling a man a bull. It's very objectifying. But I get that it is a role, in a scenario, and roles help everyone to know their place, and for the good of the cuckold marriage and everyone involved it is good to have predefined boundaries in the structure.
But not just any bull. I need to choose a man who is physically appealing, mentally stimulating but completely unavailable. Not necessarily to stop me from being tempted away from my cuckold but to allay some of his fears.
There needs to be enough threat to tease but not enough threat to destroy.
Sexual compatibility, not lifestyle compatibility
Sexual compatibility is what I am looking for. Exciting chemistry. Enjoyable rapport. Common interests maybe, certainly interesting discussion.
But not too much. Never too much. I don't want to start finding myself ticking off too many boxes in my head. That list that seems to sit there when you meet someone new, the list entitled 'Would You?'
Listen below as we discuss terminology, the importance of labels and how cruel I can be when I tease my cuckold husband about my future lovers (or should I call them boyfriends?).